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Not In Straight Line

*pic courtesy - painting taken from pinterest. I am telling you I am not perfect My bed is messed up all day long I have been said I am nothing but wrong My voice cracks open a tragic song My closet has clothes that don't fit me There are times when even my dog doesn't sit with me I am telling you Life is not supposed to be.. What you want to see.. I have been thrown out, shouted at, made fun of,  everytime I want to change and be free.. I have been called arrogant, stupid, mad, with ideas that shatter... I discovered things that no one in the room thought but only if it could matter.. I am telling you That people aren't perfect and nor they will ever be... If you wait for them to align You will be the one being struck out of line Don't think every criticism is fine Some are horrific with absurd design So what if I am not perfect I can tell that imperfection is abstract Breaking the rules is not nodding to solicitations I have tried, failed, then tried back ...

Why Can't I

I am scared of dying alone..
I am scared of crying to my very bone.
I am scared of hands which detach..
I am.scared of any familiar touch.
I am scared of lying asleep with no one
Bothering to wake me up.
I am scared of going on with no one
Asking me to stay over.
I am scared of trying harder and then
Running into a dead end.
I am scared of closing eyes and waking
Up to a room full of strangers.
I am scared of tears flowing through cheeks which are unstoppable.
I am scared of words that means nothing.
I am scared of promises that always fall out.
I am scared of happiness which is short lived.
I am scared of innocence not so meaningful anymore.
I am scared of hidden stories beneath deep eyes.
I am scared of lies covered under pretty faces.
I am scared of politely killing someone.
I am scared of kindness withholding wrath.
I am scared of anger struggling to pounce on.
I am scared of smiles that I will never again encounter.
I am scared of lives just slipping away from my finger tips.
Sweaty hands dampening grip..
Why can’t I save anyone by the end of this trip.

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